A Tribute to Dad - Joan M. Wideman

Joan Wideman, March 13, 2012

My Name is Joan Wideman, and I am the eldest daughter of Laurence & Olive Evans

My Dad – What characteristics come quickly to my mind as I attempt to describe him to you: 

•  His physical strength
• His love of Family – his wife, his children and their spouses, his grandkids and spouses and great grand-kids, his parents, brothers & sisters and their families.
• His firm commitment to his marriage, his family, his Faith, his church and his community
• His strong and deep faith and spiritual beliefs
• His consistency & integrity
• His respect for Tradition and History
• His humour, and the twinkle in his eye when he was teasing us or telling a funny story

My earliest recall of Dad

·        Our first home on Bell street in Uxbridge, the roosters crowing and cows mooing on the Ewen farm at the top of the street – now a large subdivision - …..Dad singing – making up fun songs about his kids and wife while he shaved and prepared for work

·        Meeting dad as he walked home from work at Williamson’s

·        Dad taking us on dates at the Dairy Bar on Brock Street, or on Sunday afternoon drives around the countryside that he loved

·        Dad studying hard as he worked to certify as an insurance agent for Great West Life

·        Hospitality – our friends were always welcome in our home – and Dad & Mom’s friends were often in our home ….and many times, visitors would drop in to ask for Dad’s wise counsel on their personal matters, financial matters, or questions of faith

·        Memories of sitting around the supper table after school, or after church on Sunday, as Dad would ask us what we had learned, encouraging us to think, to use our common sense and logic

·        Dad’s care for his family, his home & property, and his cars – as well as his work on this church building as it was first built, and his subsequent faithful care for many years for the boiler systems and other aspects of this facility

·        Dad telling us about REAL life, using real experiences and stories to teach us about planning, about faith through hardship, about giving back to the community, and then showing us by his example

·        Dad’s pride in his community and his country -  getting involved in his community as a volunteer and then ensuring that he showed us all of Ontario and most of the rest of Canada with major family camping trips

·        Dad’s enjoyment of and faithfulness to his good friends – people like Laurie Wagg, Dan Filyer, Murray Richardson, Doug Burke, his brothers and brothers-in-law and many others.

These are just some of the things that come to my mind as I think of Dad’s character.

On June 7, 2011, Dad fell early in the morning while walking his dog Rev, breaking his left hip.  This led to hip surgery which was successful and Dad was heading for a good recovery until he experienced renal failure due to a blocked prostrate.  Dad never fully recovered from this and he lost a great deal of his physical strength.  It was very difficult for him to accept these changes, and along with a very bad reaction to the pain medication and frustration that his body didn’t work as it had previously, dad had a very challenging summer and early fall.

It was about the middle of the fall that we started to see Dad accepting the inevitable changes and the on-going physical care that was going to be required.  On Dec 22, Dad was moved to the local Long Term Care facility – Reachview.

Dad enjoyed motoring around the facility in his wheelchair, eating at a table with former neighbours and new friends, and the daily visits from his wife, family and the special visits from his dog Rev.

Unfortunately further challenges began for Dad in mid-January.

Dad had to fight 3 consecutive infections, an Enteric flu outbreak, C-difficile and finally pneumonia…..he put up a valiant fight over the past 6 weeks, but it was too much even for this strong man, who over the past 3 months had lost over 50 pounds.

Dad was re-admitted into the Cottage Hospital on Feb 10, and stayed in an insolation room with family care until his passing on Tuesday, March 6, 2012.

It was difficult to see a loved one go through this, especially a man who had been so strong and independent.

What was important to us as a family during this last period, was what we experienced as we walked beside Dad….a transition from frustration at his loss of strength, to acceptance and then peace.  Dad was very ready to leave this physical life.

Our family surrounded Dad with constant care and spent time chatting, enjoying memories, reading the scriptures and signing Dad’s favourite hymns.  As we realized that Dad’s body was soon going to stop working, we created a virtual family circle – with family from across Canada and in India speaking words of love and comfort to Dad by phone.  On the final morning, many of the siblings and spouses were on the phone with us to sing Dad into Glory…..we sang Blest Be the Tie that binds our Hearts in Love, and several other hymns as we stood around Dad’s bedside…and as we started the hymn – Great is Thy Faithfulness,  Dad drew his final breath. 

What an amazing end of life transition into Heaven….!!